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Jerusalem Artichoke
Yesterday I decided to look back through the first blog I kept. Entitled, Rivanna River Days, I started it as a record of what life was like living on the shores of the South Fork Rivanna River Reservoir, where I resided at the time. I began this blog in the spring of 2006, many years before I began writing my memoir and a year before my mother died in 2007. She was living with me at the time.
I found this piece that I wrote in September of 2008. I could have written it yesterday or last month or last year. I have to say I have no problem staying with my writing these days, but it’s interesting to see that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Tending The Heart
Where have I been, you ask? I’ve been tending to myself …
My heart has been heavy with the vibrations of the exterior world …
It’s trying to hold its own … feeling grateful for all that I have …
The wonderful people I know …
Saddened for the state of this country … the violence in the world …
The hungry … the homeless …
And most of all for those who don’t see or feel the consequences for what they do.
It’s been hard for me to write anywhere about anything, including in my journal
that I normally jot in every day.
I’ve been saying a lot of prayers … asking lots of questions
And trying to stay as positive I can.
I know I’m not alone. There are many people feeling the same way.
I remind myself on a daily, sometimes hourly basis that I cannot control what is happening in this world
And that this too shall pass.
I take solace in meditation, the garden, living simply, and the gifts that each day brings.
Do you read back through your old journals or blog posts to see what has changed over the course of time?
Yes! One of the things I love about blogging is the archival and search function. Given how unsearchable journals are, and how digital photo storage keeps changing, WP is a wonderful resource.
You have such a big heart, Joan. That’s what doesn’t change.
Joan, I notice this, too, with both my journals and blog posts — certain things definitely do change, in me and in the world around me, but others stay (sometimes infuriatingly) the same. It makes sense — we all have those issues and themes we care about deeply at our cores, and they come up again and again for us as we work with them, live with them. I’m glad you shared this!
Jill, I’m so glad you liked this post. I have been absolutely fascinated with how time changes us and the things that never change. Next week I’ll post another one from 2006 about my feelings about aging and death, then and now.
Wow, Shirley, you’ve made my day! Thank you. I too love going back through the old posts and seeing all the photos that I thought I’d lost over time, because I kept changing computers and systems!
Joan — I love your piece, TENDING THE HEART. What a beautiful person and writer you are.
Oh my, Laurie, thank you for your very kind words. I’m afraid that between you and Shirley my head will become inflated and I’ll drift off into wonderland! And actually I could say the same things about you!
I used to Joan. It helped a lot to find perspective and understand what I was feeling. When we have gone thiugh trauma in our lives and perhaps cut oursleves off from feeling fully, it’s such a helpful and empowering thing to do. A real gift to ourselves.
I know I will always come back to journaling in times of questioning and looking for clarity and assurance if they arise down the road.
xo
Thanks for stopping by, Val. Getting a grasp on where we’ve been and where we’re headed now is so important. Yes, I love perspective!
Absolutely agree Joan! Plus ca change; plus la meme chose! Will the human race ever learn?
We must protect ourselves from the violence, project the best that we can, and hope that it is enough.
Thanks, Linda. I protect myself by keeping the watching of news to a bare minimum, not seeing violent movies or reading violent stories. Otherwise, I get very sad.
Beautiful, Joan. I’m on a violence-free diet, too, even though it creeps in because I live in this world. It’s amazing to go back and find the same issues. I didn’t start blogging until 2012, but I know I would find the same if I went back to my many journals filled with reflections and Active Imagination. (Shirley is right in noting how hard it is to search, and for this reason, I put all my dreams on the computer now so I can find them.) Nothing changes in one view, but from another perspective life energy cycles and returns to the same place from a slightly different perspective or angle.
I agree, Elaine. Changing perspectives with time helps to sort through our confusion, letting us learn from the past and the present! Thanks for stopping by!
Lovely post. I do re read old journals from time to time. I once wrote a blog post about it that. Always enlightening to see that while some things change, there are some fundamentals that stay the same, and it’s usually the personal, internal struggles that have plagued me forever.
Thanks for stopping by, Kim. Yes, it’s those “internal struggles” that seem to always be in the background. Thanks for reading!