In much of the reading I do to stay tuned in on how to have a lot of followers on my blog and build a following for my upcoming memoir, it is said that you need to be an expert on what you are writing about.

My Scrivener dictionary describes an expert as someone who is, “a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area: experts in child development | a financial expert.”

In order to be an expert, you have to know about something a lot of other people don’t know about and need or want instruction in. Like how to train your dog so that he or she won’t attack the mailman, or how to make a loaf of sour dough bread that tastes heavenly.

In Australian Locker Hooking, A New Approach to a Traditional Craft, the first book I wrote and published back in 1980, I was definitely taking on the role of an expert. My book was an instruction manual with photographs and technical drawings on how to use raw wool that has been freshly shorn to make beautiful hand made rugs. I was an authority. Those who bought my book wanted to know how to make the things I made, often from the wool of their own sheep.

Now I’m writing a memoir.  ME, MYSELF AND MOM, a Journey Through Love, Hate and Healing, is about a portion of my life, during which I invited my mother to come live with my husband and me. Her health was failing, and she needed care. I was not an expert on eldercare when I invited her into my home, and when she died seven years later, I was still not an expert on eldercare.

Seven more years have passed, and I still don’t feel as though I am an ”expert” on eldercare, or how to build a relationship with an aging parent. If you read my book and try to follow what I did in order deal with your aging parent, you could be making many BIG mistakes and end up hating me for sending you in the wrong direction. What works for one person, most often doesn’t work for another.

In my mind, writing memoir is rather like being a scribe or a storyteller. It’s a record of what happened from the writer’s perspective.  It is not necessarily a how-to-book.

When I read memoir, my favorite genre, I am interested in being told a story and being inspired by how a particular person managed to get through a certain period of time in their lives. I am not interested in learning the steps they took to arrive where they are today. What I want, is to know is that I am not alone in my happiness or travails.

Making difficult decisions about how to care for aging parents is something many of us will face, as we ourselves grow older. As I continue to rewrite my memoir, my intention is to inspire adult children who may be taking on that tricky journey, while they try to go about living their own lives. It’s a difficult task.

Mine is the story of why and how I tried to care for my mother. As hard as it was,  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to learn so much about myself and human nature.

Are you an expert or a storyteller? How do you feel about being one or the other?