Christmas Past

December 14, 2015 By

Saks-#2The images in this post were taken at Saks Fifth Avenue, way back in December of 2007, when Bill and I were visiting the city to see some good theatre, movies, and eat mouth-watering food.  These days the city is way too crowded for me to be comfortable at this time of year, so we’re staying here at home reliving trips from the past.  Besides, Bill will be having knee replacement surgery on January 4th.  He’s in a lot of pain, so traveling, especially to the Big Apple is out. I can tell you he’s already salivating over a few shows that will be there in the spring. I have a feeling that once the surgery is over and the pain subsides a bit, he’ll have show tickets ordered and train tickets in hand.

Today I found myself remembering one of my favorite early TV shows that we watched on Sunday nights way, way back in the ’50s, called, I Remember Mama. It was a drama-comedy about an immigrant Norwegian family living in San Francisco during the 1910s. Peggy Wood, played Mama, and Judson Laire, played Papa.  I was smitten with the family and their lives as told through the eyes of their grown daughter. They were the family I longed for; loving, supportive, and extremely kind … unlike my own very dysfunctional family.

The program ran from 1949 to 1954. Since we were the last people on the block to get a TV, I missed many of the early episodes.  But my favorite episode of all time, was the Christmas show, set out in the barn around a manger.  A cow, horse, and sheep tell the story of Christ’s birth from their animal points of view, while the human family listens in on the other side of the door. So sweet. So simple. So life affirming. And for me the perfect Christmas story.

I turned seventy-three last month and find myself enjoying precious moments from the past. I thinkSaks-#4 this remembering is one of the things that makes aging such a special time of life.  As I look back at what once was, I take solace in the way things were and am grateful that I had the opportunity to live a much more simple life when I was a kid.  There were no huge displays of holiday lights, no Black Friday sales. No robots. No cell phones. No standing in line to get a bargain on Thanksgiving night. Gifts were simple and came from the heart.  A handmade doll, a stocking filled with walnuts, oranges, a pair of hand-knit socks or mittens. I went caroling with friends in the our neighborhood.  It is that spirit that I wish to surround myself with during the holidays.

Do you have precious Christmas moments from the past?

 

Filed Under: Christmas, Growing Up, Memoir, stories Tagged With:

Life AS A Work Of Art

December 8, 2015 By

“…. when I accept the call of creative passion, I am a bold stroke of vermillion, a renegade hyperbole, or the wild fury of jazz violin. The world is a canvas to explore, a blank page to fill, and an arpeggio of waiting experiences. This moving masterpiece called “life” becomes intoxicating when it’s lived as if it were art.”
Jill Badonsky

IMG_0118Outside the rain is steady and cold … It’s the second day of what is predicted to be a three day rain event. Thank goodness I don’t live in the midwest where this storm is producing snow and ice. But still all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep the grayness away.

Christmas is upon us. People are rushing about on the streets and nearly causing accidents. My Scroogy self is anxious for it all to be over. Her arrival comes earlier and earlier every year. I swear the city put up their usual snowflake lights on every light pole in town two days after Halloween. Christmas carols were heard playing in several grocery stores before Thanksgiving was done. What the holidays are supposed be about are love, gratefulness, and the birth of one of the world’s greatest teachers. What was once a spiritual celebration now seems to be all about things and money.

But amidst the long list of unread emails is a blog post I read and am always inspired by. Jill Badonsky, isDSC00444 a wonderful artist. She’s also a coach for those looking to live a creative life. I don’t know anything about her coaching style but she wrote the quote above and I’m more than certain that she’d be a fabulous person to hook up with to get unstuck.

Reading that line on her blog got to me immediately. Suddenly there I was remembering that I am an artist and writer myself. I have no business being a badass at this time of year. Life is a work of art and by golly I need to add some color to the dull and lifeless mood I’ve been creating in my head for a few weeks now.

As a starter, I’ll haul out my paints and throw some onto a piece of paper or canvas and see what happens. I’ll stop complaining about the state of the world, and sign up to support another group, who like me wants the violence to stop. I’ll bundle up and go walk in the rain, admire the red leaves still hanging on to the Japanese Maple in my garden, and enjoy the antics of a group of robins splashing about in puddles, grateful for not only a long drink of water, but a bath as well.

Encaustic painting, 6 1/4" x 7 1/2", September, 2012

Encaustic painting, 6 1/4″ x 7 1/2″, September, 2012

I’ve always truly believed that life is a work of art; that you can add a dab a bit of color here or there and come up with something much more balanced than the dark days I’ve been messing with.

If we want to change the course of the world or the way the holidays are, we can set an example and provide laughter and joy to each day instead of more darkness. When we turn on those happy holiday lights we dress our homes in, we bring light to world. It’s the same when we create a magnificent painting or write a beautiful poem.

Do you, like me, believe that life is a work of art?

Read the whole of Jill’s blog post here.

Filed Under: Art, Change, Christmas, Mental Health

Cleaning House

November 17, 2015 By

DSCF0734.JPGThe holidays are upon us, life is crazy, and there aren’t enough hours in the day. I’ve cleaned out all of the blue mold in my refrigerator, put all the summer clothes away, and have begun to file the huge stack of stuff in my studio that’s been steadily growing for at least three months. I was under the impression that it might disappear on its own. Of course I know better. But once in a while I think maybe things have changed.

I cannot start 2016 with a life overflowing with everything I’ve been allowing to pile up. There certainly will be more of that to come. And if I let it go any further I’ll be in deep trouble and I won’t be happy with myself.

IMG_0477So, I’m taking a few weeks off from blogging in order to get organized and ready for the approach of a new year which already appears to be filling up with challenges … like my husband’s knee replacement surgery in late January.

I will not be present on Facebook and Twitter during that time. I’ve allowed them both to be distracting and somewhat addictive.

I will be back on December 1st with my next newsletter, a review of Brene Brown’s new book, Rising Strong, and how it’s helped me to see the progress I’ve been making in my life. There will be other goodies within it as well.

I will begin posting again here on my blog on December 8th.

DSC00399.JPGIn the meantime I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Among the many things I’m grateful for, are you, my readers. Thanks so much for taking the time to visit me here and leave comments.

What are you most grateful for this year?

Filed Under: Addiction, Change, Gratefulness, House Keeping Tagged With:

Another Lesson From The Garden

November 10, 2015 By

IMG_1630Monday morning. Feeling rushed, overtired, and foggy headed, I look out the window at the garden. Brilliant leaves of red, gold and orange cover the patio pavers. Those still hanging on silently drift down on a gentle breeze. Maria and her gang put the garden to sleep for the winter this past week, leaving only a few red roses and one lone, beautifully pink echinacea to remind me that life is still there, even when it goes underground for the winter. Brown, crusty leaves of Lenten Roses, are dying back and new green leaf shoots are beginning to show. Their flowers will fill the dark days of February lasting into March, April, and maybe even May, before they give way to summer blooming plants.

It’s cold this morning and heavy rain is promised later in the day. I remove my shoes and socks, wander barefoot through the leaves, listening to their crunch, examining their outrageous colors, and letting my feet taste the cold that the coming months will bring.

I ask myself, Why must I rush about? My eyes had a hard time opening this morning. The warmth of my quilt, along with Sam and Max’s warm bodies snuggled up against my legs kept me from wanting to throw the covers back and jump into morning. Can’t I stay here just a few more minutes?

But unending lists and necessity pried away my comfort. Closing the window that keeps my bedroom very cool, I rushed into the bathroom. The litany of when and where I have to be played over and over again in my head. An old record stuck in the mud of have-to’s.

As I walked the dogs and had my breakfast of hot tea, yogurt, walnuts and berries, I reviewed the things I would be unable to do because I had too many other things to do. I wouldn’t have time to take a nice long walk, sans dogs. There would be no time to finish reading that book I’ve had a hard time closing at night, and taking a nap would be out of the question. Forget the idea of doing some visual art.

IMG_1624It’s got to stop, I thought. Would I be living this way if I knew I only had a month to live? Isn’t it time to pay attention to the time I fill with more and more things, making it sometimes impossible to do what I have at the top of my priority list? Like taking time to stretch my body and let it rest when it’s tired?

It’s a chronic problem of mine. I’m just too damned interested in way too many things. I love learning and want to know why the world is the way it is.  In the stillness under the quest to know more I think, Maybe if I can figure out why I’m so tired all the time, I can do even more?

In early September I made the mistake of signing up for two OLLI classes offered at the University. I chose, Elephant Sense and Sensibility, and How to Be an Olympic Swimmer in the Aging Tsunami. I love elephants, have seen them up close in the wild, and wanted to learn more about them from a man who probably knows it all and has a book or two to prove it. As to the second class, I thought it would be useful to learn more about where I am on the aging curve and what to expect as I move on down the road.

IMG_1626Both classes started last week, one on Monday, the other on Wednesday. I had other things to do those days. I rushed here and there, feeling unsatisfied and angry. The weekend passed by too quickly, filled with too many more things to do and not enough time to catch up on what I neglected to do last week.

Now, as I traipse through the leaves, freezing my toes off, I know it’s time to be honest with myself. I can read those books about elephants anytime. And I’ll figure out where I am on the aging curve as I go.

I throw out the idea of going to class, allow time for a long, leisurely walk around the neighborhood (with shoes), an hour to finish that book I am reading, and another hour or two for sitting and writing this blog post which I tried unsuccessfully to put together yesterday.

The glue is gone from my eyes. I no longer feel exhausted and my day is spread out before me. The mud where I was stuck has dried up. I’m no longer angry.

Being in the moment, knowing how I’m feeling, and what I need to do to take care of myself is what I need to do more of. Like the garden, I’m settling in as the days shorten and the wind blows colder.  Spring really is just around the corner and after resting for a few months I’ll be ready to spring into action once again.

Does the arrival of fall and winter make you want to settle down and rest?

Filed Under: Classes, Self-Care, The Garden, The Seasons Tagged With: , ,

What’s Happened To Time?

November 3, 2015 By

IMG_1614

November 1, 2015

After the neighborhood Halloween parade and hoards of imaginatively costumed kids coming to the door for treats last night, I set the clock back an hour, did some reading, and went to bed. This morning I woke to rain and gray clouds lit by the sun lost somewhere in the ether. Tonight it will be dark when I cook dinner and I’ll be grumpy because I hate it when the time changes.

Wouldn’t it be better to just get used to being on one time cycle instead if changing it every spring and fall? Well maybe. But who knows. We’ll never get a chance to figure it out.

On one level, I’ve been longing for this fall-behind-time because it’s been dark at 6:15 AM which is when I prefer to rise and shine. I’m a morning person and like to have all my heavy lifting and creative work done by early afternoon. But if it’s dark when the alarm goes off, the plan falls apart and I’m running late for my very important dates.

At almost seventy-three years old I lag a bit in the late afternoon. At that time of day, I prefer to read or visit with friends. When I’m way behind, which seems to be a  constant these days, I can’t necessarily do that. But I keep on keeping as best I can.

With darkness encroaching an hour earlier this evening, I’ll have the opposite problem. I’ll want to close the blinds and snuggle in my bed at 8:00 PM. If I do that I’ll  miss going to the movies and other fun things which  just get started at that time. Because I don’t like missing out, I’ll go out anyway. But I’ll be yawning all the way and occasionally my head will nod off. I might even let out a snort when I can’t keep my eyes open any longer.

Other people my age complain about the the lack of time and how much longer it takes to get things done when our hair grays. What we want is more time.  We’ve got bucket lists of things we want to do. I’ve always wanted to go to Mongolia and visit Africa again. But when I think about the hours it will take to get to those places while being stuck in a narrow seat with little to no leg room, I have second thoughts. I’m not sure I’d be able to get my legs to work after a long flight like that.

Perhaps I should trade in that old list for one that has shorter trips involved, like seeing more of my own country, while visiting old friends who are scattered from one end to the other. On the top of that new list, I’ll get less specific and include things like have fun, laugh a lot, and be grateful for every moment, regardless of where I happen to be.

I’ve made huge strides this past year in simply slowing down and allowing myself space to breathe and stretch my mind. I’m taking weekends and most evenings off from work. Sunday brunch followed by a movie is a wonderful treat, as is taking long walks, then putting my feet up and catching up some of our favorite tv shows we record.

IMG_1620

Time management has always been an issue for me. The time I gain by letting a few old interests go quickly fills with new things and I’m back at square one.  But I shouldn’t complain.  I’m never bored and I’m grateful for all of the choices I have.

Do you have enough time to do all that you want and need to do?

Filed Under: Halloween, Time Tagged With:
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