Returning

Kanuga Conference Center

Kanuga Conference Center

Every time I go away on a trip and then return I come home a new person.  This time is no exception.  Yesterday afternoon I returned from four nights at the Kanuga Conference Center in Hendersonville, North Carolina, and then a one night visit with my daughter, her partner, and my grandkids. It was intense.  All of it.

The conference was about journaling and I have not yet processed all that I learned and how it may effect how I move forward. But just let me say that I am full and must now slowly begin to digest the nourishment I received. I met wonderful people like Christina Baldwin, who wrote Story Catcher and whose quote you will find on the home page of my website. She has long been an inspiration to me and her words kept me working on my soon to be published book.

I discovered that both of my grandkids are taller than I am and that I don’t see them enough. They are growing toward adulthood and I can’t seem to keep up with them.  Zoe and I had a lovely afternoon together while the rest of the family  was otherwise engaged.  We walked around Lake Tomahawk, share delicious, chocolate salted-caramel ice-cream and listened to live blue-grass in downtown Black Mountain.  We made plans that once she has her drivers license next year, she is going to come up here to Charlottesville so we can go visiting places like Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s home, and the many other historic sights we are home to.

Next week I’m taking a few days to go on retreat. No phone. No fixed schedule. No blog post. Just the sound of the Atlantic pounding on the shore, some good books to read, and taking in the natural world of gulls, dolphins, and shells that wash up on the shore. I’ll be back on the first of June with my newsletter and on June 7th I’ll be back here with a new blog post.

May Peace Be With You

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Lake Tomahawk

NOTES FROM BOOK EXPO AMERICA, CHICAGO, MAY 2016

from left to right: Annie Tucker, Brooke Warner, Katrina Anne Willis, and myself.

from left to right: My editor Annie Tucker, Brooke Warner, my publisher,  Katrina Anne Willis, and myself.

I Arrived in Chicago last Tuesday afternoon and spent the evening trying not to worry about the next day at BEA. I’m not a crowd person and dislike noisy places. I’d been told that Book Expo America was a bellybutton to bellybutton kind of event, so I lived with that expectation overnight and into Wednesday morning. Not being good enough to be there kinds of thoughts kicked the cement mixer in my gut up several levels the next morning as the cab I’d hailed drew closer to McCormick Place, the huge convention center where I would spend a good part of my day.

Up two flights of escalators the crowd seemed tiny. But BEA wasn’t open to the public yet. I breathed deeply and told myself, I can do this. After registering for my badge I set out to find the She Writes Press booth where I’d finally meet my publisher Brooke Warner, and the community of women authors I am now a part of. Brooke gave us some ideas on how we could welcome those who visit the booth, what to look for as we explored the convention floor looking for others whose services we might want to use, and how not to be overly pushy pitching our books. After a quick lunch with several of the other authors I arrived back at the booth ready to be available to those interested in She Writes Press and the books they publish, most especially mine. There was still not much of a crowd.

I sat at small round table with two other authors, Linda Kass and Jennifer Dwight. Linda’s book, Tasa’s Song, was inspired by her mother’s life, and describes Tasa Rosinski’s life and escape as a Jew from Eastern Poland in 1943. It was the recipient of the 2016 Bronze Medal for Historical Fiction at the Independent Publisher Book Awards. BookList says, it ”depicts a heartbreaking time with great sensitivity and detail.” It was published just weeks ago and is available wherever books are sold.

Jennifer Dwight’s book, The Tolling of Mercedes Bell, is a thriller that the San Francisco Book Review calls, “An unforgettable page-turner.” Suspense Magazine says it’s “Full of surprises with impressive twists.” It won two finalist medals at the 2016 Indie Next Generation Book Awards in the categories of Suspense and Thriller. Published on May 3rd, it also is available in bookstores and on line.

We spent an hour and half together welcoming those who showed interest in our books and She Writes Press. The crowd was still unimpressive at 2:30 when several other authors came to take our places at the table. I began wondering if my crowd phobia was a figment of my imagination and whether BEA was going to be what I had expected it to be.

I slept in on Wednesday morning and spent time with Bill. This was our first real trip together since his knee replacement this past January. We had several lovely meals with friends we hadn’t seen in some twenty years recalling what life was like back in the day. And while I was off having a ball at the publisher’s dinner on Thursday night, Bill took in a play he’d wanted to see for a long time. It was very relaxing to be away from home without the phone ringing and my endless to do list shouting at me in the background. I could hardly contain my excitement at being there amongst all those writers, publishers, and industry people. I finally felt like a real author.

Friday morning, the last day of BEA, I was back at the booth at 9 AM and spent two hours with author Katrina Anne Willis, as people came and went asking questions about our books. Katrina’s book, Parting Gifts, a novel, was published in April, and is the story of three sisters who pull their lives together through tragedy.  Karen Lynch, author of Good Cop, Bad Daughter: Memoirs of an Unlikely Police Officer, says “Parting Gifts is a rare treasure, the sort of book that leaves the reader attached to the characters long after finishing the final page.”

I was delighted by a visit from The Best Editor in the Whole World, Annie Tucker, with whom I loved working through the developmental and copy edits of my book. It was such a pleasure to finally meet her in-person. If there is another book in me, I’d hire her again in a heartbeat.

After my booth duty I took a walk around the convention floor and finally found the crowds as people lined up for books being signed by the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis, Richard Russo, and others. At other booths publishers and authors held up their books, approaching me as I passed by, wanting to give them away for free. I imagine it was not only about getting their books out to the public but also about not wanting to lug them home again. When my head began to pulse from the noise and crowds, I packed up and returned to my hotel for a late lunch and a nap.

It was truly a fabulous trip and I’m so glad I talked myself into taking the plunge. I’m still processing everything I learned about selling books, myself, and how I can operate in conditions I don’t normally seek out without making myself a basket case. It was an exciting hands-on learning experience that I’ll never forget. If God be willing and the creek don’t rise, I plan on being there again next year.

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What’s Happening With My Book

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For those of you who aren’t subscribed to my newsletter, I’m posting my May 1st newsletter here so that you’ll know exactly what’s happening with my book.  It’s an exciting and busy time with lots of travel, exploring and learning new things.

memes-bea-chicago4I’ll be making my way to Chicago this afternoon. I’ll be sitting in the She Writes Press booth #1150 at Book Expo America for a few hours on Wednesday and Friday, doing a bit of book pitching and meeting fellow SWP authors. I’ll also get to meet my editor Annie, who I loved working with.  I will also wend my way through the crowd at this huge trade show to learn more about the publishing industry. My first book, Australian Locker Hooking, published in 1980, was self-published long before Indie Writers were doing their own thing. The changes in the industry and book marketing are huge and I want to learn all about it.

 

My Newsletter, May 1, 2016:

Last week I noticed a big box sitting on my front porch, and asked myself, What did I order that I really don’t need? Running late for my Pilates lesson, I brought the box indoors and left it on the hall table. I didn’t notice the return address. A few hours later between fixing dinner and feeding the dogs, I remembered the package. I still couldn’t remember having ordered anything and as I slit the top of the box open I grew more curious as I pulled out wads of white packing paper. There before my eyes were the Advanced Reader Copies of SCATTERING ASHES, A Memoir of Letting Go. I had completely forgotten that they would be arriving any day — in time for me to take them to Book Expo America in just two weeks. Oh yes, I needed them.

Holding the book in my hands I couldn’t believe that I had come this far. During the last few months there were times I felt it was all a dream and all the work I had done on this project was just a figment of my imagination. But no, there it was. Bill grabbed a copy for himself. When I told him it was only a galley and still needed proof reading, he said, “That’s okay. I want one of each.” We celebrated with a glass of wine and toasted to the book’s success.

I also have other irons in the fire heating up. Last week I ordered postcards to hand out to participants at BEA, and to send to those on my mailing list. They just arrived and they look great with a photo of the cover and several descriptive blurbs. They were designed by a great designer, Alex Baker, out in Seattle.

Last week I heard about the 2016 Journal Conference to be held in Hendersonville, North Carolina, the week after I return from Chicago. I threw my usual need to stay home for a while after a trip aside and signed up to be there. I will have just four days between trips to get laundry and other catching up activities done before I head out to what I believe is going to be a great conference.

I have been journaling for the past 35 years and those writings were extremely helpful to me as I began putting my story on paper. Writing daily journal entries was a huge part of my healing process as I struggled with PTSD and life as my mother’s caretaker. I’m looking forward to meeting other writers and journal keepers and want to begin the process of putting together my own ideas on how to help women in my own community begin keeping journals and writing their own stories as a way of healing the bumps and bruises that life has to offer.

Also happening: My publicist just sent out press releases and ARCs to several publications in hopes of having them write reviews. After I return from my trips I’m hoping to get a few articles written for various publications. Things just keep on happening and at times my excitement gets out of hand!.

I never woulda thunk this would be happening for me!

You can go ahead and preorder SCATTERING ASHES on either Amazon or Barnes & Noble now.

Mother’s Day

DSC02486Along with May flowers, Cinco De Mayo, Memorial Day, and a host of other special days, like Hug Your Cat Day on May 3rd, this month also brings us Mother’s Day. Held on the second Sunday of the month, it is a celebration in honor of mothers, grandmothers, and anyone who has mothered another person.

I am the daughter of Josephine Zabski who died on May 21, 2007. It was to her that every year in May, I would present cards, flowers, and/or other gifts. When she lived nearby and after she moved in with us, Bill and I would take her out to dinner. She could be very abusive and we spent some difficult times together, but we got through them, and I can honestly say, I miss her.

Bill’s mother died in 1978. Though neither one of us have mothers to honor in the flesh now, still on that day we always call them to mind and share a few memories. Sometimes sad, sometimes maddening, and sometimes hysterically funny … like the time we were sitting around the dinner table enjoying one of Mom’s absolutely delicious meals that she’d taken hours to prepare. My father was complaining about the number of deer hunters that trespassed on the land where he’d built and ran the Summit Lodge, in Killington, Vermont. Wanting to keep the guests who stayed at the lodge enjoying the fall colors safe, he’d posted the property with No Hunting or Trespassing signs. But still some hunters came, ignoring the signs, wanting to fill their freezers with venison.

Between bites of roast pork and sauerkraut, Mom said, “I don’t think that sign is enough. I think you need to get one that says, ’Trespassers will be violated.”

All of us, including Bill, my father, and my brothers choked on our food, and burst into nonstop laughter. Mom looked around the table wondering what was so funny. She didn’t realize she’d replace the word “prosecuted” with “violated.” Hurt and filled with shame, she ended the conversation with, “Well, you know what I mean!” We went on discussing other things, like the weather and the price of milk until we could get back to an easier conversation. Some of us continued to wipe away tears left over from Mom’s joke. Others made a hasty retreat to the bathroom to empty overly stimulated bladders.

mom1997Now, years later, it is still a very funny story and I still snicker to myself when I think about it. But I wish I could have been more sensitive at the time as to why she was so embarrassed. Though my mother was a very elegant and intelligent woman, she had only gone as far as eight grade in school. I think she often felt left behind by me, her daughter, a collage graduate, and my brothers who were still in the midst of their education. Only family members knew that about Mom’s schooling, but if you didn’t know, you never would have guessed. She could carry on a debate with the best of them.

Adding to her shame and vulnerability was the rise of the feminist movement, which completely confused her, despite the fact that she operated her own antiques business. But it was overseen by my father, who told Bill on his deathbed that, “You’ve got to take care of Jo. She doesn’t know how to write checks.” That was a flat out lie and we soon discovered all of the things that Mom knew how to do, that her husband wouldn’t allow her do, because she was a woman and uneducated.

This year, despite the problems Mom often caused in my life, I’d like to honor her spirit and the way she knew how to survive in a world that was not always a good fit for her. She may not have finished high school but she was someone who knew how to run a business and what to do when the going got tough. As I face my own life challenges, I think of her often and wish I’d told her that day, that what she said was funny, but in no way stupid.

Here’s to Moms all around the world!

You can read more about my mom and our days together in my memoir,
SCATTERING ASHES, A Memoir of Letting Go, to be published in September.
It is available for preorder on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

At Sixes And Sevens

IMG_0183I’m in one of those in-between places. You know— when you don’t know what to do next or where to start.

The Advanced Reader Copies of my book arrived a few days ago. I need to reread my words again one more time and check for typos. I have a great postcard design with my book cover and a terrific blurb on the front being printed now. I’m working on getting my website updated and plan to do some advance writing for this blog and my newsletter. I’d also like to submit a few personal essays to magazines on and off line to bring attention to my memoir. I’m so wired with excitement that some nights I have a hard time falling asleep.

But on the other hand, it’s spring. The desire to write and do what needs doing in theIMG_0178 studio is being drowned out by the early morning call to be in nature by an amazing variety of birds setting up households in the neighborhood. I have an unbearable urge to devote my time to the natural world and to get my hands dirty. I need to redesign a flower bed I tore apart last fall to bring it new life. I long to stay outdoors all day, visit nearby nurseries and garden centers to see what is available. I love walking down the rows listening to plants shouting out, “Choose me, please! My roots are being suffocated by the blasted pot someone planted me in and I need to escape!” Once rescued and at home, there is then the need to fulfill my promise and set those cramped roots free where they can stretch out, and fulfill their promise to infuse my garden with color and joy.

IMG_0184Then there’s the stuff of everyday living. The laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, veterinarian appointments for an aging dog, my own need for a well deserved nap, and on and on. I print out my weekly calendar each week, then make a list each day of what needs doing. Usually it works well for me and it feels so good to cross items off that scrap of paper as I get them done.

But I the slow pace of winter where my lists were fulfilled each day without difficulty are over. Now there’s the galloping pace of spring. My lists are lengthier and linger into the next day and the day after that. My energy is good but not enough to do it all in one day. Some say it has something to do with my age and the extra time it takes to do things.  It leads to overwhelm and I get stuck in my old patterns of rushing around like an idiot.

So I’m here today to make a public promise to myself that I will not allow my slowness or the too many things to do make me crazy. I will continue at my slower pace and do one thing at a time, reminding myself that when I choose to do something on my list it can not be done half-way. It needs to be done well and thoroughly. If I write a personal essay I must do it the best way I know how and take as long as it needs. If I choose to take a thirty minute nap, I will not lie on my bed and fuss over what I “should” be doing instead.

I think that we could build a new movement of folks like me who don’t want to rush and can easily say, “That’s enough for today. “ Will you join me?