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That's me at Jennifer Louden's writer's retreat in Taos, New Mexico, last summer. It was heavenly! Photo by Kara McGee
As a follow-up to my last post, I found this piece in my locker hooking file and thought I’d share with you some of the OCD silliness and insanity I went through in order to get that book written. Since I think I may be embarking on writing a memoir, it’s a good reminder of what the work can be like.
5:45 AM How did I get myself into this mess? Why am I trying to do something so unnatural for me? If God had meant for me to be a writer, he certainly would have equipped me with so much more than he has. I find myself not being able to communicate the simplest words to my family. How can I possibly write a book?
6:00 AM Shut the alarm off. It’s too late. I’ve already told everyone I’m going to do it and once you tell, it’s written in stone. I’d really like to pretend I didn’t tell and hide here on the side of my mountain and just do something else. Book? What book? But I can’t hide from me.
8:30 AM Bill has gone to work, kids to school. Now what? Clean up the kitchen, throw the laundry in the machine, water the plants. There must be something else I need to do. Call someone. Talk talk, chatter, chatter.
9:00 AM Okay, I’ll try. Find a notebook, pens. The laundry needs folding so it won’t get wrinkled sitting in the dryer all day.
10:00 AM The phone … “Yes, I’ll provide paper cups and potato chips for the classroom party next week.” Okay, here I go. Just one paragraph. Oh, look at that gorgeous red-tailed hawk. Get the Binoculars.
10:30 AM The roofer is here to repair a leak. Okay, a third paragraph. Doesn’t sound too bad. At least I know what I mean. “Yes, I’ll get you a flashlight in a minute” … I’m trying to write. Why must people do this to me? Don’t they know I’m busy? After all, how am I supposed to write this book if I’m always being interrupted.
12:30 PM The roofer is gone. The leak is a thing of the past. The mail must be here. I’ll just walk down to get it. Nothing important here, just bills and junk mail. Guess I’ll read the paper.
2:30 PM Only one hour before I have to pick up the kids. I’ll just try cleaning up this last paragraph a bit.
3:00 PM It looks pretty good so far. After I’ve made my first million I’ll hire someone to pick up the kids.
4:00 PM Kids home, doing homework. I’ll just write a bit more. Get that new idea down on paper while it’s still fresh in my mind.
5:00 PM Bill’s home. “Look what I’ve done today! I’ve written the whole first section!” He’s had a bad day. I don’t want to stop now. Everyone is hungry. Bill needs to be at a meeting at 7:30 PM.
8:00 PM Dinner’s done. Bill is gone. I’ll go up to the studio and write some more. The kids are bugging me. “Please lower the sound on the TV. No, I didn’t wash your red sweater today. I’ll get to it tomorrow. I’ve been busy writing.” They must hate me …
9:00 PM At last. It feels good to work with words.
9:15 PM Damn, the phone. “Mom, it’s for you!” Crap! “No I can’t help out at the Band Booster’s Spagetti dinner on Friday!” I’M WRITING A BOOK!!
Well, I never made a million so couldn’t hire a chauffeur to drive the kids around. But it was fun! It was hard! It was exhausting! It was rewarding! It was a great learning experience! I can’t believe I did it, even now, 19 years later! And did I say it was fun?
This was just up my alley. I am currently taking my 7th online class in creative writing. My course now is “Write and Publish Your Nonfiction Book”. I am half way through with the course and totally confused. I began writing a biography of my daughter – now I not sure if I should finish this course – but I will I had to pay for it. I love writing and keeping my journals. I love your title “I’m Trying To Write A Book”. That’s what I am TRYING to do – but I’m not sure what I am doing! Any suggestions?
Amelia,
Welcome to my blog. I don’t really know what to say, except to follow your heart and write, write, write, read, read, read the kinds of books you are hoping to write. I am no expert on any of this and am as green as you are, really. Like I said in my post, I knew my market well for that book and the rest was luck. Perhaps finding someone local who teaches writing would be better for you. I think on-line classes are fine, but I like face to face contact with a real person for something like writing. I feel I get much more out of it that way.
I wish I could help more, but I can send you best wishes on getting your project under way.
Joan
It’s always fun and interesting to look back on a big project like that and recall how it unfolded. Doing anything constructive during the child-raising years is hard! Good for you for getting it done 🙂
And good luck with all future writing endeavors.
Thanks, Becca. Even though the kids are grown and gone, I can still find a million excuses to not do something creative, especially at the beginning of a project. Once I’m under way, I am seem to go with the flow much more easily!!
Hey, Joan, I haven’t gone back to look to see if my last comment ever posted, but WordPress (?) was giving me a hard time trying to register. This was over a week ago, and I can’t remember exactly what was happening. Any tips?
I really like your posts and have wanted to respond to several of them that I connected with — the lost brother for one.
I am working on a small piece for a Feb 14th contest, but so far it is a total piece of crap, you know?
Gail
Gail,
For some reason this didn’t post automatically. I copied it from the email I get from WordPress when a new comment is posted and printed it here for you. Just keep trying and I’m sure it will work!
I do so appreciate your comments. Having heard you read some of your work, I cannot believe the piece you’re working on is crap! You are a powerful writer. Yes, we all do write crap more than we like to, but sometimes it takes letting a piece rest and returning to it later to see where it should go.
Love this Mom… and oh, how I find myself in your words these days! Tee hee…
Shall I say I’m not surprised? 🙂
Lucky you to work with Jennifer Louden–and in Taos, at that! Willa Cather is one of my favorite writers, and the Southwest is a place of great spiritual presence conducive to all creative activity.
Loved your description of the ways writers put off and resist the work. Happens to me, too!
Thanks for visiting my blog, Shirley. Yeah, that resistance stuff is the number one enemy for me and I find it is there waiting to pounce whenever I come up with new and exciting ideas!