Beginning Again

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Here we are again at the end of another year. On January 1, 2019, we will  have traveled around the sun 365  times since January 1, 2018. During that time, we’ll have experienced the longest day of the year as well as the shortest day of the year.  We will have witnessed the ever changing phases of the moon, weather patterns, births, deaths, sunrises, sunsets, and government upheaval.  We’ll have felt joy, sadness, grief, anger, fear, depression and a host of other feelings that can change from season to season, from day to day, and minute to minute. 

We move in huge endless cycles but when we get to December each year, we talk about THE END. We get to revisit all of the important events of the past year via the media, social or otherwise, and begin making resolutions to change what we haven’t been happy with during the last cycle. 

 We try to lose weight, pretend we’re not aging, and that the cane we keep losing as we move about our lives, belongs to someone else.  We try giving up habits that mostly limit us, and we pray that the all of the world will become more peaceful and safe for all living beings. 

We party through the night on December 31^st, kissing our loved ones as the old year ends and the new one begins.   We chow down on black-eyed peas and collard greens, drink strong black coffee, and try to remember to write the correct year on the checks we will write during the next few days.

On January 1, 2019, I will have spent 1 year and some 45 days in a new home that I plan on staying in for a long time. I will have finished writing the last page of the journal I began keeping on January 1, 2018 and will begin filling a new notebook with my thoughts, feelings, and writing ideas for the coming year.

 In early December of last year, my son and his wife, Jane, lost their beloved daughter, Casey, and now celebrate the birth of their first grandchild, little Ava, who was born in September.  

We have celebrated our granddaugter’s graduation from high school, and the beginning of her college years. We have celebrated our grandson’s magical growth, as well as Bill’s and my marriage of 53 years. For every tear we have shed during the past year, we have many more reasons to be grateful for all that we have.

Is there really an end to it all?  I don’t think so. There is only the past, the present, and the future.  They  will continue to repeat themselves over and over again. As every ending comes along there will be a new beginning. The past is gone, never to be forgotten or relived. The present is now, as I write this blog post and Max snuggles at my feet. The future is what comes next … unpredictable, filled with surprises, celebrations, and terribly painful loss.

I love the following words from F. Scott Fitsgerald:

For
what
it’s worth;
it’s never too late,
or in my case, too early
to be whoever you want to be.
There’s no time limit,
stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same.
There are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it.
I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you have never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of.
If you find you are not,
I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

Wishing you and yours Happy Holidays and and a New Year filled with exciting possibilities.