Books And Words As Containers

DSCF0414“If it is a human thing to do to put something you want, because it’s useful, edible, or beautiful, into a bag, or a basket, or a bit of rolled bark or leaf, or a net woven of your own hair, or what have you, and then take it home with you, home being another, larger kind of pouch or bag, a container for people, and then later on you take it out and eat it or share it or store it up for winter in a solider container or put it in the medicine bundle or the shrine or the museum, the holy place, the area that contains what is sacred, and then the next day you probably do much the same again—if to do that is human, if that’s what it takes, then I am a human being after all. Fully, freely, gladly, for the first time….

“[T]he proper fitting shape of the novel might be that of a sack, a bag. A book holds words. Words hold things. They bear meanings. A novel is a medicine bundle, holding things in a particular, powerful relation to one another and to us.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

Today not only marks the first day of spring, but also the opening of the 19th annual Virginia Festival Of The Book, where writers, books and words of all genres are shared and honored as containers of life.

Brody 2008 – 2013

I am bereft.  I cannot possibly write about it now.  Maybe later.  Just know he was a very small dog with a huge personality and lived his life living with joy until the very end.  He taught me many lessons while he was with me.

Brody RIP March 15, 2013

Brody RIP
March 15, 2013

What Is The Life I Should Live?

Great Blue Heron

Great Blue Heron

“All through our gliding journey, on this day as on so many others, a little song runs through my mind. I say song because it passes musically, but it is really just words, a thought that is neither strange nor complex. In fact, how strange it would be not to think it — not to have such music inside one’s head and body, on such an afternoon. What does it mean, say the words, that the earth is so beautiful? And what shall I do about it? What is the gift I should bring to the world? What is the life I should live?”  –

Mary Oliver (from “Flow,” Long Life)

Power Outage

DSC01557This past Wednesday when the power went out at 6 AM I started counting my blessings. I had firewood, a fireplace, a gas stove on which I could cook, and hot water.

The snow, ten inches in all, was not a problem.  It was heavy, wet and seemed to start melting as quickly as it hit the ground.  The roads were plowed in the late afternoon and it was easy to go out for a quick dinner in the evening, enjoying the warmth of good food and the Indian restaurant Bill and I chose.

Thursday morning, still with no power, it was more than difficult to get out from under several layers of blankets and a quilt. The fire had gone out overnight. Washing my face quickly enough to keep ice crystals from forming and sitting on the cold toilet seat made me a bit touchy.  I tried counting my blessings but it was hard. Mostly I complained and got whiny.

We decided that staying at home was nuts and reserved a room in a nearby Marriott where we had a comfy bed, a shower, TV and WiFi.  I started counting my blessings again, grateful that I was not lost in a sinkhole somewhere in Florida or fighting in a war somewhere in the Middle East. I’m cancer free and we are safe and warm.

We went home in the evening to feed the cat, sure the power would be back on. It wasn’t. Seeing the lights on in the houses on the street behind us, made me grouchy. One of the neighbors told me that he’d been told that power wouldn’t be restored until Saturday night. I started ranting. Where were my blessings?  Where was my gratefulness?

I got mad at myself for being a jerk. For complaining. For being a baby.  For not being grateful. For making a relatively easy situation into a mountain of goose poop. Where was my self-control? Because I didn’t stay at home and suffer through another day and night of being cold makes me a weakling … unfit for much and a nasty rat fleeing my frozen ship.

We checked in at home again on Friday morning.  No power and not a Dominion Virginia Power truck in sight.  I met a neighbor with a long face, leaving to visit relatives … to get out of what he called, “This hell hole.” I’m pissing and moaning too. But what good is it doing?

I decide to smile, start over again reciting my blessings, adding as many as I can come up with. I’m especially grateful to those now smelly long johns that helped to keep me warm all day Wednesday and through the night.

We go out to Charlottesville’s best breakfast place. Luscious food. Shrimp and Grits.  Fresh strawberries. The sun is shining. The snow is melting. Everyone is smiling. I’m still not liking myself much, decide I’m just a foolish human living in the “21st Century of Instant Gratification.” I promise to mend my ways.  I send thanks to whatever or whoever runs this place, assuring them that I’ll get over myself very soon.

When we check in again at five to feed the cat, the house is warm.  The lights work.  Everything in the frig and freezer made it! I’m saying thank you over and over again out loud … very loud.  I have power again!

Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ, said, “There is no place like home.” And she was right. Regardless of where I’ve been it’s always a treat to return to my own special place.  Though my adventure over the last few days, was so much easier than Dorothy’s, I promise myself I’ll never rant again over a power outage no matter how long it lasts. But silly me knows all too well that I’m only human and will most likely have a hard time keeping that promise.

What happens when you meet up with a circumstance like a prolonged power outage? Do you get twisted up in ranting and raving or are you apt to stay cool and chill out?

Suffering And Wisdom

DSC02423“ When it’s time to suffer, you should suffer; when it’s time to cry, you should cry. Cry completely. Cry until there are no more tears and then recognize in your exhaustion that you’re alive. The sun still rises and sets.  The seasons come and go. Absolutely nothing remains the same and that includes suffering. When the suffering ends wisdom begins to raise the right questions.”

Seido Ray Ronci, The Examined Life

I subscribe to Tricycle Magazine’s, Daily Dharma.  Every morning a new quote is sent my way and most of the time I’m very taken with what it has to say. I often take a quote into the day with me as a mantra, a way of dealing with what unfolds as the sun moves across the sky and evening descends.

There have been many times in my life when I could have used this quote to help me through a particularly painful bump in the road when I wouldn’t allow myself to cry … or scream, or even laugh.

I can remember times when I cried myself to sleep. When there was absolutely nothing left inside of me that could produce another tear. When I woke it felt like I had been lifted out of the fog. Things looked brighter. I may still have been feeling sad or hurt, but there was always a new energy available that helped me get up on my feet and move forward.

There have also been times when I wouldn’t allow myself cry, or scream. I walked through my days as if in a trance, retelling myself the story of what had brought me to this point, unable to put it aside in its own place.  There was no relief from the darkness. Unlit days melted into the night without the benefit of wisdom. Sometimes it took hours or days to find the glow in the distance of time.  Sometimes it took months or even years before I allowed the sun to burn it’s way into my life.

I love this quote because you can take it a few steps further and say that when it’s time to laugh, you should laugh yourself silly … pee your pants … snort and guffaw … and spread the joy.  It’s about the here and now.  This very moment. The only one we have

Whether you need to cry, laugh, scream, dance or roar like a lion, do it with all of your heart and soul. Use it. You will be the better for it and wisdom will be yours.

When was the last time you cried your eyes dry or had a fit of laughter that left you feeling on top of the world?