The Lovely Blog Award

 

Clash of the Season, November, 2014

Clash of the Season, November, 2014

Over the last month I have been nominated three times for a Lovely Blog Award. With life being the roller coaster that it is, it’s taken me until now to publicly say a big thank you to each of the following women for doing me that honor. Thank you to: Kathy Pooler, Mary Gottschalk, and Janet Givens. I so appreciate your encouraging support.

This award is wonderful way to honor folks we admire.  There are what are called “rules” but they’re easy and no one who is nominated must respond or take part in moving it forward if they choose not to. This is not meant to overwhelm or make more work for anyone.

The rules:

Name and thank those who nominated you.

Share 7 things about yourself that others may not know.

Nominate 15 bloggers (or as many as you like) that you would like to pass the nomination on to.

Contact those bloggers and let them know that you have nominated them.

Just remember, we all know how life is and that we all sit in the shadow of overwhelm. So forgive my lateness in responding and let me say to those that I nominate below, that this is just my way of saying, “I love you and your blog. You don’t need to do anything more except keep blogging.”

Seven things about me:

1. Yesterday I turned 72 years old. I was born on November 17th, 1942, nine months after my parents married on Valentine’s Day of that same year.

2. My maiden name is Zabski, hence the Z. as my middle initial. In means FROG in Polish. I collect frogs of all sorts … not live ones. In junior high my friends called me “Froggy.”

3. Bill, my husband, and I will celebrate our 50th year of marriage on June 19, 2015. We dated each other for two years before we got married and we still love each other madly, most of the time. 🙂

4. I have two kids, Mark and Lisa. Lisa has presented me with 2 grandkids, Zoe and Noah. Mark has brought me a step-granddaughter, Casey McCarty.

5. Bill doesn’t allow me to go to the SPCA alone. My secret wish has been to have a place where I can take in homeless animals … dogs, cats, horses, whatever shows up. I’m doing my best with 2 dogs and 1 cat on a city lot. Beyond that, divorce. 🙁

6. I can be a bit of an overachiever. In fitness classes I often injure myself because I think I can do what the 25 year old working out next to me is doing.

7. I’m a bookaholic. If you need some reading material, come visit and take some books with you when you leave. But only the ones I’ve already read.

Now it’s time to pay the honor forward to other bloggers. I follow these folks on a regular basis. They inspire me and bring me new things to contemplate every time they blog. I hope you’ll visit them and enjoy them as much as I do.

Marian Beaman, at plainandfancygirl.com
Val Boyko, at findyourmiddleground.com
Laurie Buchanan, at tuesdayswithlaurie.com
Linda Hoye, at lindahoye.com
Jeri Leach, at arunningriver.wordpress.com
Jennifer Louden, at jenniferlouden.com
Sherrey Meyer, at sherreymeyer.com
Lisa Rough, (my daughter), at sacredcirclecreativelife.com
Becca Rowan, at beccarowan.com
Dorothy Sanders, at agingabundantly.com
Shirley Showalter, at shirleyshowalter.com
Krista Tippet, at onbeing.org

 

 

 

My Recipe For Writing A Book

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When winter knocks at the door I love to cook soups and stews. They can take a long time to simmer allowing the goodness and flavor of the ingredients to be released into the pot.  Writing a book can be like that, too.

I’m over on Sherrey Meyer’s blog today with a guest post with a list of ingredients and the recipe I used to keep myself working on my book. I hope you enjoy it.

On Being A Teacher And A Student

Me with yesterdays class of third graders at Meriwether Lewis Elementary School.

Me with yesterdays class of third graders at Meriwether Lewis Elementary School.

“Ooh! I have an idea!,” one boy with expressive brown eyes said, as his third grade classmates waved their hands, eager to get their own ideas out and up on the board as options for a story we would begin writing together.

I was at a local elementary schools where student teacher, Kassandra Hoffmeister, had invited me to come and talk to her class about writing. She had been told by another student teacher, Yarden Batson, about my visit with her class just a few weeks earlier.

I had met Yarden, earlier when I was looking for a house sitter. She came highly recommended and when she found out that I was a writer, with a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education, she asked if I’d visit her classroom to talk with the kids about writing. Having been away from a classroom setting for what seems like hundreds of years, I eagerly said yes. Not only did I want to step back in time a bit, I’d been concerned that students aren’t given much of a chance to write creatively these days. I thought going into the classroom to inspire kids to write would be a great way to give back to the world of creativity that I have been blessed being a part of.

When someone discovers that I am an artist as well as a writer, they often say, “I don’t have a creative bone in their body.” In response, I jump on my soapbox and try to convince them that they most likely haven’t given themselves a chance.

Creativity isn’t just for those who want to dance, paint, compose music, or write poetry. Everyone is blessed with “creative bones.” Those bones just need to be nurtured.

Creative thinkers rule the world even in science and math departments. Without the ability to step outside of the box, Steve Jobs would never have come up with the computer I’m using to write this blog post. Alexander Graham Bell wouldn’t have invented the telephone, which now is something we all carry around in our pockets. Even the process of designing and constructing an environmentally friendly buildings is a creative act that gets those involved asking questions that no one has pondered before.

The easiest way to nurture creative thinking is to start early. A toddler’s first crayons help him or her to discover the world of color as they move their hands, spreading red, yellow and blue onto a piece of paper. Each piece of paper is the masterpiece of a young mind that hasn’t been strangled by the rule that one must color within the lines.

On my first visit to a third grade classroom, I took a cue from my husband, Bill, an actor, director, and a playwright. I used a story telling exercise he often uses with a newly assembled cast to help them get comfortable with each other and their new roles.

First, I helped the kids create a list of characters they felt drawn to tell a story about. We then worked on a list of settings in which a character might be found. The third list was made up of things the character wants or needs. The fun continues as the children vote on which character the story should be about, where the story is taking place, and the problem the character needs to solve. Sometimes other characters and settings are included as the story takes shape.

In the first class I worked with, the kids began developing a story about a young elephant visiting a football stadium, in hopes of being gifted with his favorite player’s jersey. Yesterday’s class came up with a California Sea Otter, named Jason, who found himself in a portal to the ancient world, where he hoped to find some cotton candy. We can laugh all we want at what seems like a crazy combination of story parts, but these kids are amazing at coming up with story lines that somehow make sense and that gets them started on a path that just might help them one day become creative geniuses.

At the end of my time with them, they’ve not only started the writing process, but we’ve usually had time to talk a little bit about titles, the structure of a paragraph, and the concept of the beginning, the middle and the end of their story. Later in the afternoon after I’m gone, each child finishes writing their own version of the story they started creating together.

What I find to be so much fun, is their enthusiasm and their willingness to leave what makes sense behind, as they jump freely into a world where they can be who they are and need to be. We older, stuck folks could learn a lot from watching them.

I believe that when a teacher stands in front of a classroom of children, the teacher becomes the student, as he or she has the opportunity to be introduced back into a world of creative being, that we too often leave behind as we get older and learned to color within the lines.

What Do You See In The Mirror?

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I’m over at Girl Talk today talking about fear and seeing myself in the mirror. http://www.gildaevans.com/mirror-image-by-joan-z-rough

 

And you’ll find my guest, Mary Gottschalk on my blog  talking about the bio-ethics of aging.  Check it out at here.

Modern Medicine – A Cure Or A Curse

Mary Gottschalk, teacher, memoirist, novelist

Mary Gottschalk, teacher, memoirist, novelist

Please welcome my friend, Mary Gottschalk, memoirist and novelist, as my guest today.  I’ve been following her for a while now, and enjoyed reading her recently published novel, A Fitting Place.  When I discovered that Mary would be teaching a class in ” The Bio-ethics for the Aging,” this fall, I asked her to write a post for me, concerning the issues we are faced with today.

It’s of interest to me because having cared for my mother during the last years of her life, I’ve had many questions about health care and the ethics of death and dying, as they present themselves today in our society.

If you have been following the story of terminally ill, Brittany Maynard, the young woman who moved from California to Oregon, so that she could choose the quality of life and death with dignity, that she wanted for herself, you most likely also have questions and thoughts on how we care for our terminally ill loved ones whether they are young or aged and unable to be present in their lives.  Saturday evening,  Brittany chose to die peacefully, surrounded by friends and family, with the aid of prescription drugs prescribed by a doctor. Her story is an important part of what lies ahead for all of us.

Thanks so much Mary, for taking this on!

Here is what Mary has to offer as we  contemplate how to care for our aging population  and what we all would like for ourselves when our times come:

 

Modern Medicine – A Cure Or A Curse
By Mary Gottschalk

Two weeks ago, a woman whom I’ve greatly admired for years, stopped taking her heart medication. A few days later, at home and surrounded by a loving and supportive family, she had what was, by all accounts, a beautiful and dignified passing.

My friend had the best of both worlds. On the one hand, she had access to medicines that kept a damaged heart functioning smoothly for years, allowing her to enjoy her family, her music and her politics well into her 80’s. On the other, as her overall health declined, she understood that forcing her heart to keep pumping was prolonging the process of dying rather than keeping her “alive.”

Her body told her it was time to die. Her decision to stop taking medication meant that she would let her body decide rather than her doctor.

 

As recently as 200 years ago, if you stopped breathing, you were considered to have died, whatever the cause. There were few scientifically based options to prevent or delay death.

A watershed moment in the history of medicine came with the invention of the stethoscope in 1816 and the ability to register a heartbeat. But there were still no science-based treatment protocols. For the next century, death continued to be, as it had been for much of the history of mankind, a part of “God’s plan” or—if you were of the atheistic or pagan persuasion—a matter of fate.

Until 1928, that is, when Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. Suddenly, man no longer had to rely on God or fate to determine the outcome of an injury or an infection. Over the last 90 years, our ability to triumph over illness has expanded exponentially. Today, we can prevent most infectious diseases (Ebola being a notable exception), repair a faulty heart, excise a malignant tumor, or replace a failing kidney.

For much of the 20th century, these medical advances focused on preventing “premature” death from infection, disease or trauma. But these often seemingly miraculous discoveries had a number of unintended consequences. For one, the medical advances that keep young and middle aged Americans healthy have played a major role in the explosion of health care costs for the elderly. By preventing or curing acute illness, we have expanded the population vulnerable to chronic illnesses such as diabetes or COPD, many of which cannot be cured at all and are treated at great cost.

Another unintended consequence is that the wonders of modern medicine are increasingly used to “manage” or delay conditions that were once considered normal signs of aging, e.g., sagging skin, declining fertility or loss of muscle tone. But should we think of this as health care? Where is the boundary between preserving a healthy but age appropriate body and defying the natural process of aging? When does the effort to retard aging morph into an outright denial of the inevitability of death?

This urge to deny the inevitable is reflected in the frequency with which high cost and often-intrusive medical interventions are employed to keep an aged body alive long after the will to live has gone and all-too-often in violation of the patient’s expressed wishes to be allowed to die.

As many people interpret the Hippocratic Oath (show the “utmost respect for human life”), doctors and hospitals have an ethical obligation to treat your illness if they have the tools to do so. This prescription made perfect sense when there was little the medical profession could do to actually heal an illness or injury, when their role was largely to keep the patient comfortable until God or the fates stepped in.

But what does “utmost respect” mean when science and technology allow the doctor to second-guess God or the fates … to decide, for example, that a failing heart should be “fixed” by implanting a pacemaker? Should a pacemaker be implanted in an otherwise healthy 35-year-old father of four? Most of us would instinctively say yes. Should one be implanted in an 85-year-old stroke victim whose mental capacity is permanently impaired? The answer is not so obvious.

These are not new questions, but they take on a new urgency as the baby boomers age. There are not enough resources—money, caregivers, or care facilities—to treat all the “ills” of the over 65 crowd today, let alone the estimated 90 million elderly that will be clamoring for medical care by 2050.

How do we, as a society, decide what kind of health care the elderly should receive, and under what circumstances? Should we have a category for “age appropriate” health care? Should we continue to provide virtually unlimited access to health care for to elderly patients who can pay—regardless of their medical need or the potential benefits of the treatment—while ignoring younger patients who cannot pay but might have greater need and greater potential benefit? Do we continue to provide ever more costly—and in some situations, unlimited—health care to terminally ill baby boomers if it means that children and young adults will not get the care they need?

And who should decide about your life at the end of your life. Should your decision be based on spiritual / religious precepts that are often ambiguous or on a rational cost-benefit analysis? Should it be based on your capacity to still enjoy your grandchildren? Should it be based on the emotional cost to yourself and your family if the cure (e.g., chemotherapy) is worse than the disease? Should you accept your doctor’s recommendation or let your body decide?

Under the laws of the U.S., you have the right to determine who will make that end-of-life decision and under what conditions. My friend was lucky … she was able to communicate her wishes to her family in a way that they were willing to support her. Many of us will not be so lucky. If you do not make your wishes known well in advance—to your family, your lawyer and your doctor—you may not have any choice at all when the time comes.

 

About Mary Gottschalk

Mary has made a career out of changing careers.

She spent nearly thirty years in the financial markets, working with and for Fortune 500 companies in the United States, New Zealand, Australia, Europe and Mexico.

In the mid-1980’s, at age 40, Mary dropped out of the corporate world to embarked on the three-year sailing voyage that is the subject of her memoir, SAILING DOWN THE MOONBEAM.

In her latest incarnation, she is a full-time writer and occasional teacher, including a seminar on the Bio-Ethics of Aging.

Her first novel, A FITTING PLACE, was released May 1, 2014. She lives in Des Moines, Iowa, where she works as a freelance writer and editor. You can find her website and her blog—The Illusion of Control—here.