Wineberries

Wineberries from the Farmer's Market

Every Saturday morning at 7 AM, throughout the summer, I head to the farmer’s market where I can find just about any seasonal vegetables or fruit I desire.  I usually pick up a dozen fresh eggs from pastured chickens or what some old-time residents call Yard Birds.  I also gather juicy peaches, a sweet cantaloupe or two, and berries of all kinds.  Freshly slaughtered chickens, beef, lamb and pork, all locally grown, are available along with cheese from goats and cows, handmade jewelry and so much more.

This past Saturday, two booths were featuring wild-harvested wineberries …  a raspberry-like fruit, sweet and tart, all at the same time. I was offered a sample and their tangy flavor sent me back some fifty-five years to my adolescence, growing up on New York’s, Long Island Sound.  At that time, we lived year round on a small neck of land that stuck out into the Sound on one side and Northport harbor on the other.  Our house was tucked into a small cove that at high tide filled with salt water and at low tide became a mud flat.  We had access to a private neighborhood beach and our own small piece of sound-front shore just five minutes from our home, where we could swim anytime, regardless of how the tide was running. Besides having to do daily house chores, I spent most summer days at the neighborhood beach or on the water with friends, swimming, flirting, sometimes sailing in a friend’s boat, or waterskiing.

The Sluice at the private beach where I spent my summers swimming.

Wineberries and blackberries grew wild along the narrow, shaded roads and my friends, mostly summer residents, and I would feast on those wonderous jewels, staining our mouths, hands and clothes with their runny juice.  If we could gather enough without eating them all, we’d heap them into hand-rolled pie crusts, bake them, and sell them to the neighbors.  We also made and sold apple pies, from fruit a neighbor grew in his yard and donated to our cause. We saved the proceeds to finance our late summer trips to Coney Island, where we’d spend a last fling together before school started and my friends headed back to the city.  We’d feast on hot dogs, smothered with sauerkraut and yellow mustard, scream from the top of one of the stomach-churning roller coasters and challenge each other to try the parachute jump, which was my favorite.

The 4th of July was always a festive occasion spent with neighbors and family at the beach.  A day ahead of time we’d dig clams and gather mussels from seaweed encrusted rocks along the water’s edge.  My mother would make baked beans, stock up on fresh corn, watermelon and party food.  On the Fourth, we’d dig a deep hole in the sand and line the bottom with rocks. On top we’d build a fire with driftwood, letting it burn until the coals were glowing and the rocks were too hot to touch.  We’d then layer in wet seaweed, clams, mussels and corn, top it all off with more seaweed and let the contents steam away. When the clams and mussels opened their shells and the corn was tender it was ready. There was a bowl of melted butter to dip seafood in and to pour over corn.  Always a grill with hamburgers and hotdogs sizzled away off to the side. When the sun went down, we’d begin to hear and sometimes see fireworks off in the distance, sit around the bonfire and toast marshmallows until they were crusty on the outside and very gooey on the inside.  Late at night, we’d wander home, in bathing suites filled with overstuffed bellies and lots of sand, often sunburned, and completely exhausted. I’d dream of sweet summers filled with romance and good-looking boys.

I visited Long Island a few years ago in the springtime, hoping to locate the seven houses I lived in as a child.  I found four of them.  The Eaton’s Neck house where I lived is still there.  My heart skipped many a beat as I slowly drove by.  So many memories flooded my head.  The neighborhood still looks pretty much like it used to, but there are more homes and fewer stands of woods and trees.  On the day I was there, I watched a chestnut colored pony grazing in the large yard of one of the nearby houses.  Had it been there when I was a resident, I probably would have spent much of my time there.  I loved horses and wanted one of my own.

The home where I spent my teen years. Built by my father, circa 1954, as it stands today.

As I write these words, I feel filled with excitement. I can’t wait to finish mowing the lawn and get down to the beach. I smell the salty breeze, hear my friends laughing as they throw each other off the dock from which we swam.  I run up the road, sweaty and anxious to join the fun.  I wonder where they all are now.  Are they still living and breathing, remembering as I am, the way life was then?  Where are you Nick, Gil, Denise, Judy, Richie, Billy?

Happy 4th of July to All!

Alice In Wonderland

A few weeks ago I tumbled down a rabbit hole and found myself on the streets of New York City! I went by train accompanied by my sweet man and one terrible cold that wouldn’t seem to make up its mind as to where to land … in my head or in my chest.  I had spent 2 days prior to leaving considering whether or not I should go, having relapsed into a cold I thought I was over a few weeks beforehand.  But armed with my Doc’s blessing and some chinese herbs I decided to give it a whirl. The train was paid for along with tickets to 3 broadway shows.

By the time we arrived in the city, my symptoms were worse and I was regretting my decision.  But once we checked into our hotel and took a walk in nearby Bryant Park I was feeling so much better.  It was a beautiful 70 degree afternoon, laughing children rode painted ponies on the carousel, pink tulips were in full bloom and a street drummer around the corner on 5th played to a crowd of onlookers, each of us moving in our own ways to his magical beat.  Here I was in the Big Apple in all of its busy glory and it was difficult not to get swept up in its seductive splendor.  We decided to stay in that first night to give me some healing time.  Usually we’d be out looking for a good film that presumably might never make it to Charlottesville, but that night my tired body gave up and shut down at 9:30.

I have not always loved New York.  Until I graduated from high school on Long Island, I adored it.  It was where my dad took us Christmas shopping every December, where I first went to the circus and where there seemed to be so many adventures afoot.  In my senior year my parents actually allowed me to take the train into the city all by myself to meet a friend.  I got dressed up in my finest and met her under the clock in Grand Central Station.  From there we walked up 5th Avenue, ate lunch in a swanky cafe, shopping as we went along.  I bought a pair of shoes my father deemed a waste of money.  But I was thrilled with them and the opportunity to play at being a grown woman for a day in what I thought was the most amazing city in the world.

After graduating from high school I immediately moved to Vermont where I went to college.  I got married the weekend after my college graduation and then lived in Vermont for the next 18 or so years.  I didn’t make it back to the Big Apple much but when I did, I felt it was a crushing experience.  If you’ve ever lived in the rural north you’ll know what I mean. New York equals too many people, too much frenetic energy.  Not something I was used to by that time.  I have difficulty with crowds and the population of New York does nothing but grow. However, my fondness for The City That Never Sleeps is returning.  Even not feeling 100% well I loved every minute this last trip.

The day after we arrived I was still feeling under the weather, but we walked up 5th Avenue to the Plaza Hotel where an outdoor exhibit by Ai Weiwei, was in place.  He is the Chinese artist recently detained by the Chinese government and has only this past week been allowed to see his wife.  The Chinese authorities are once again at work silencing dissidents who speak their truths and Weiwei has been very active on that front.  Works by Weiwei are being exhibited in a number of venues around the world at the moment and his arrest has done nothing but make the Chinese government’s actions more obvious and his work more popular.  There is nothing controversial about the work we saw.  The pieces are simply bronze sculptures of characters in the Chinese Zodiac, beautifully executed.

Besides seeing two movies and three astounding plays we skipped the usual gallery routine and played first time in New York tourists.  The weather was spectacular so getting me inside for lengthy periods of time was difficult.  We went to the Central Park Zoo, the Top of the Rock and the wonderful farmers Market at Union Square.

The last day we were there was the most rewarding for me. We had gone to see the matinée performance of Jerusalem, a play that was definitely not my cup of tea.  (Look on my husband’s blog at View in the Dark to read his critical responses to all of the shows we saw and the movies, too. )  I was very disturbed by the play and needed to just sit and talk.  We stopped to have dinner at a restaurant on 45th St. between Broadway and 6th Avenue, across from a fairly new boutique hotel.  We were seated in a large window looking out on the street and the hotel entryway.

While we were leisurely discussing and enjoying well prepared steaks and accoutrements, I noticed an older woman going through large garbage bags near the hotel entrance.  She was dressed in simple but immaculately clean clothing and did not look like your average homeless woman.  She had no bags full of belongings with her and no vessel for collecting money. She and the maintenance man who was bringing out more garbage bags, seemed to be acquainted.

Being a shy type and very much an introvert, it’s difficult for me to go about striking up a conversation with just anyone on the streets of New York, especially a homeless woman who might very well not appreciate my approaching her and who might be … you know, crazy or something. Talking to homeless people can be a problem among the Haves of our country.  It almost seems as though we believe that simply making a connection with them will somehow make the needy person’s situation contagious and we’ll instantly become Have-nots. We can’t face the possibility that we may someday be in the same situation.

As I sat there enjoying my evening meal, I watched as numerous people passed by this aging woman on their way over to Broadway, without giving her a glance.  I decided that I needed to acknowledge her, to let her know that she was part of this glorious world we live in, even as she suffered.

After we finished our dinner I crossed the street and started talking with her.  I noticed she was not collecting scraps of food but empty soda bottles and cans for their refund value of 5 cents apiece and that the maintenance man was handing her the most promising bags of trash.  I told her my name and started asking her questions.  She stopped her work, smiled at me, introducing herself as Alice and that she sometimes liked to call herself Alice in Wonderland.  Looking to be near my age but tad older, she told me that she was a retired nurse and had grown up in an orphanage in Austria.  She said that she was going through tough times, but she knew she’d get back on top soon.  She thanked me and seemed very grateful for my stopping to speak to her.  I gave her a hug and a few dollars and she asked where she might find me so she could repay me one day.  I told her that it wasn’t necessary and that I’d always be thinking of her.  I’ve kept my promise.  A day doesn’t go by that I don’t see her on the busy streets of New York collecting bottles and cans so that she can get through her days and back on top.

I don’t expect an award for doing what I did, but I do acknowledge that my stopping to chat with her was something new for me. My courage is growing.  Alice is someone with a message for the rest of us who enjoy our lives filled far too many things.  Alice is no drug addict or crazy person.  She is a proud, hard-working woman with needs, living in a society that too often passes her by, not recognizing her presence, not willing to help.

Checking In On My Word For The Year … Slowly

Spider and Web with Dew, copyright Joan Z. Rough, 1984

It has become my custom at the end of each year to pick a word that I choose to work with for the coming year.  For 2010 I chose the word Open.  Simply carrying the intention of trying to open myself up was amazing. Whenever I felt the slightest urge to back away from something that was being offered to me, I remembered my word and went for it.  I’m still working with being open.  I believe it is something I’ll carry along with me for the rest of my life.

This past New Year I chose the word Slowly. The reason being that I’ve always done things too quickly. I’ve been a type A kind of person, easily getting impatient and frustrated with the slow pokes of the world who take too much time making decisions, lingering at stop lights and simply getting in my Speedy Gonzales way. I believed I had to do everything right now, perfectly and completely.  I hated stopping in the middle of things and might easily continue working in the garden for instance, with my back killing me and getting worse by the minute, just because it all has to be done NOW.

The past year was full of hurry, hurry, quick, quick.  We bought and moved into a new house in the midst of an already chaotic life.  I felt overwhelmed, exhausted and at times brain-dead.  I’ve moved many times throughout my life and have happily survived it all.  When I was kid I lived in 3 different houses and went to 3 different schools in one year.  Last year’s move seemed like the worst and as I sit here writing, I have no intention of moving again.  When it’s time for me to go, somebody will have to carry me out.  At least that’s my story right now.  I’m also known to be one who loves to rock the boat and move on to something else.

So, I figured the least that I could do to ease my way through life was to slow down.  I made my word choice in late December with no second thoughts, wrote about it here, then merrily went on my way.  I haven’t thought about it much until recently when I suddenly discovered that, wow, I am slowing down.

I’ve been taking the opportunity to be grateful for inconveniences that seem to slow my pace, frequently finding those few minutes of waiting a great time to take a few deep breaths and notice beautiful things going on around me … like the way early morning dew clings to a spider web, glistening in a newly rising sun.  This past Easter Sunday, I pulled a muscle in my back while planting perennials in my garden.  I stopped and did some stretching, leaving many other plants waiting for my attention.  Some are still waiting as I’ve taken the time to plant just a few at a time.  They are alive and well and I’ve had the chance to rethink my garden plan.  And my back is so much better.

Today, I started writing this piece at 11:15 AM and happily took the time for a leisurely lunch and a poke around the garden before coming back to it.  As I sit here finishing this bit of writing, I hear song birds singing their heart’s out, savor the cool breeze coming through my open window and wonder why it’s taken me so long to find this quiet place of being.

Are you a speedy type?  What’s the rush?

My Turtle Friend, Copyright Joan Z. Rough, 2004

Civil Rights Tour, Part 1

The tombs of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Coretta Scott King, Atlanta, Georgia

I’m home after a one of the most stimulating trips I’ve ever been on, happy to sleep in my own bed, doing some regular exercise and slowly processing all that I learned over the last week in the deep south. I’m afraid it will take some time though because the intensity of this journey has left me speechless at times.  The growing crisis in Japan grabs my attention and I often find myself caught between two worlds.  It is hard to know where to begin and it is difficult to explain to anyone asking, how powerful the experience was.  Already my mind is forgetting odd snippets of what was so fresh and clear just a week ago.  Is it aging or is it that I have consumed so much information in the past 10 days that the files are full?  Sounds like it might be both.  But here is a bit of a start.

As we arrived in Atlanta on Friday, March 4th, I couldn’t help but hearing Ray Charles’ soulful renditions of Georgia and America in my mind. The trees were beginning their spring transformation with cherry blossoms, forsythia and red bud starting to bloom.  It is a gracious and friendly city with most people smiling and saying hello as we passed them on the street.  We stopped and chatted with a welcoming black man for ten minutes or so, exchanging notes on where we were from, the weather and how he managed the unusual amount of snow (8”) this winter that stopped the city in its tracks.

The next morning before meeting the group, we walked through Centennial Olympic Park and visited the aquarium just a few blocks away.  We had the place to ourselves for about an hour. Then it seemed that every family in the world arrived with kids of all ages to view and learn about life below the surface of the ocean.  We especially enjoyed the Beluga Whales, Whale Sharks and an amazing array of lacy jelly fish slowly thrusting their way through warm blue water.  The sea otters were a joy; their habitat furnished with all sorts of wonderful toys for them to play with akin to the big basket of toys that Bill and I keep in our living room for our cats and dogs.

At our first meeting as a group, we found 42 other participants as eager as we were to get started.  We came together from Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, Michigan, California, Wyoming, Georgia, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts,Texas, Pennsylvania, Illinois and Ohio.  Some had been on this trip before.  Some are/had been Peace Corp volunteers, educators, journalists, writers, doctors, attorneys, students, film makers, artists, an Episcopalian Priest and several involved in theatre arts.  Gentle giant Julian Bond, and his gracious wife Pam Horowitz, were our leaders, along with UVA facilitators Joan Gore and Cynthia Smith.  I came away believing that all citizens of this country should make this trip. I’d do it again in a heart beat and hopefully I will.

The trip is not for those faint of heart or who need a spa vacation.  The days were long, the subject for me, emotional and intense. We were constantly on the move, sometimes getting on the bus at 8:30 AM and not returning to our hotel rooms until 9:30 or 10 at night.  No time for even one line on the blog.  But it was glorious and in the end left me feeling filled with a deep knowing that we can get through the challenges that lie before us when it comes to civil and human rights.

We met civil rights icons and those who were foot soldiers during the early days of the movement and who continue to tell their stories and fight for justice.  They are truly an inspiration and filled with a courage that is awesome. I kept asking myself along the way whether I could stand up and do the things they had to do to win their freedom. Or would I falter when the heat was turned up.  There is no way to know unless I found myself in the situations that these people faced.

In later posts I will fill you in on more details of the trip and some of the stories I heard. Stay tuned!

Spring Fever

Daffodils blooming in the neighborhood. Copyright Joan Z. Rough

Spring seems to be upon us here in Virginia.  Daffodils, Winter Jasmine and Witch Hazel are splashing the still brown land with yellow.  Next month forsythia will follow.

I wrote the following poem remembering what spring, particularly March, was like when I lived in Vermont.   It was still a season for snow but it also held the promise of emergence.  While I trudged to the barn in the middle of the night to check up on my pregnant ewes to see if they had given birth, here in Virginia daffodils were blooming.  I travel further south on Friday for our civil rights trip, wondering what other flowers might already be blooming in those places I have never been.   I will be gone for a week and hope to post a few lines every day about what I am experiencing.  If that is not possible I will write about it when I return.

Spring

Snow spits                                                                                                                                             ewes bulging                                                                                                                                         with promise                                                                                                                                       are cloistered                                                                                                                                       inside

I count days                                                                                                                                         watching bags swell                                                                                                                           vulvas blushing red                                                                                                                             by night patrol                                                                                                                                     the wind riddled barn                                                                                                                         filled with the silence                                                                                                                         of sleeping hens

At dawn one ewe                                                                                                                                 shifts and strains                                                                                                                                 feeling the whisper                                                                                                                               soaking her body                                                                                                                                 small hooves emerge                                                                                                                           in purple blue satin                                                                                                                             that rips rushing                                                                                                                                   the lamb to the straw

Tumbling legs harden                                                                                                                          he readies his burden                                                                                                                          butts pokes                                                                                                                                            finding the teat                                                                                                                                    dripping colostrum

Somewhere                                                                                                                                           to the south                                                                                                                                           daffodils push                                                                                                                                       toward the light

jzr, 1990